There has been quite a bit of misinformation from my siblings these last few years about me. This has caused seemingly countless questions from Mom, Dad and my kids. Interestingly, none of my siblings have never reached out to me for clarification.
This is an attempt to set the record straight.
These fact checks and responses are from just a few text exchanges and conversations. There may me much more to come. There have also been several other comments made that are equally as untrue as what I address here. But they are too nuanced to be explained here at this point.
As always, I’m open to talk and clarify.
FACT
I had an affair for 2 years and 9 months and lied about it.
The affair became known on December 20, 2017. Over the following week I confessed everything I could possibly think of to Sharon and our counselor. I confessed things that no one would have ever found out. This was because I was serious when I said the affair and the deception was over, and I was determined to move forward in my marriage and family with full disclosure.
I have not lied to anyone about any thing since December 20, 2017.
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DAVE
You weren’t sorry when we found out about the affair.
FACT
I was and am sorry about the affair and especially the pain that this caused Sharon and my kids.
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DAVE
To be excruciatingly clear… We [siblings] DID surround you and WE siblings WERE THERE until you started attacking and blaming us and loosing your mind in insane rants.
RESPONSE
I don’t know of a single time when any of you supposed me. At all.
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DAVE
Did dad tell that an on site intervention with at least a 30 day stay was recommended for you after our “secret” family counseling meeting with Tim??? Did anyone?
RESPONSE
Yes dad told me about the recommendation of a 30-day stay. I asked what I was supposed to check into a 30 day stay for. Dad didn’t know. I was actually not opposed to that if it would actually help. But no one seemed to know what I needed to recover from.
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DAVE
Your rich little brother…helped you SAVE YOUR HOUSE
FACT
Keven never did anything to help me save the house. I personally paid every single mortgage payment as well as $3,000 in monthly expenses until the day the house was sold.
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DAVE
…you were vehemently against ANY counseling at that time.
FACT
I was never against counseling. In fact, 1) Sharon and I were in counseling for months after the affair, 2) I started personal counseling not too long after the affair, and 3) I pushed for family counseling consistently over the last 2+ years. It was my siblings that were and are against family counseling.
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DAVE
I was trying to talk you into family counseling in spite of your attacks against me and your other siblings. Over and over I tried.
FACT
No, over and over **I** tried. At my suggestion and after you railroaded my initial request, we even agreed to get family counseling by the end of January 2019 but that never happened. I brought it up many times since then. But it never happened. Mom mentioned it recently. But it never happened.
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DAVE
Now you want to make the “extraordinary” effort after 4 years to follow Jesus’ Matthew recommendations? I would say welcome back but since there isn’t a whole lot of Jesus fruit coming from you, I will have to wait until there is.
RESPONSE
You have no idea what Jesus fruit is coming from me these days because you haven’t actually had a conversation with me.
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DAVE
Like I told mom and dad, I don’t want any surprise encounters either like your little drop in on Terri’s bridal shower.
FACT
I didn’t “drop in” on Terri’s bridal shower. I was living there at the time. Also, I came home well after the shower was over. This was evidenced by Kevin, Terri and Dawna (I think) standing near the door ready to leave.
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DAVE
You, [have abandoned] everything you have known from your youth, including your calling.
FACT
No. Simply no.
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DAVE
Amongst other very important commands you might want to revisit in chapter 5, chapter 18 says the protocol is to go to your brother FIRST.
FACT
Dave is correct on this one, at least concerning Matthew 18. Jesus did say to go to your brother first. According to Dave I am “an adulterer, liar, thief and manipulator”. I also “run back to mommy and daddy like a sissy” when I don’t get my way.
With all of these sins that I’ve apparently committed, It seems that my brother indeed should have come to ME about these things. But he never did. If he did, and I blew him off, according to Matthew 18, he should then bring two or three with him. None of this ever happened.
But I don’t think Matthew 18 and 5 and meant to be taken overly technically. The point is that we should be proactive to pursue reconciliation. I don’t have an exact count of the number of times I’ve tried with all of you collectively, as well as individuals, but it’s in the dozens. And then add Mom and Dad’s requests as well as my kids, and you guys have rejected virtually countless attempts.
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DAVE
Sharon’s decision to marry Brian was a new beginning because her past was in shambles.
FACT
Sharon never dealt with ANY of the issues of her past, many of which are rooted before we were married and lead to the demise of our marriage. Pastors, counselors, Barb and Doug, Alvin, Dad and others all tried to help her with this. But she rejected every one. I do hope she’s able to find happiness with Brian, but our shit has a way of following us to the next city when we don’t deal with it.
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DAVE
You are demanding for me and others to do what YOU think will fix [the family]
FACT
I’ve never demanded anything. But I have repeatedly asked, virtually begged for you guys to meet, talk, go to counseling, listen to Dad, listen to Pastor Tim…anything.
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DAVE
Right back at you shirtless vitriol maniac (a reference to when you cursed out your family on what used to be the most sacred family night in case you forgot). You are a real piece.
FACT
I never cursed anyone. On that “sacred” New Years dinner, we had had a good night but the tension was starting to increase after a few hours. I thought it best to remove myself but I wasn’t allowed to. After several attempts and someone saying something that no one remembers, including me, I slammed my hand on the rickety dining room table causing my wine to spill all over my shirt. I did not curse out my family, ever.
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DAVE
[I have reached out to you] to discuss how we could find a mediator and brought several to the table WHICH YOU SHOT DOWN).
FACT
Dave suggested one and only one mediator in all of this time: Simon Sinek. And yes, I shot him down because he doesn’t meet the simple requirements that we agreed upon: A professional counselor trained in family systems. No other names were ever suggested.
However, I suggested Tom, and Pastor Tim suggested three others, all of which met those qualifications but apparently THEY were all shot down.
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SHERRI
I'm open to some discussion and maybe therapy but none of that is gonna happen before the anniversary stuff. Let's just try and get this done for mom and dad. We can work on our shit later.
FACT
We’ve yet to work on our shit.
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KEVIN (summarized)
Steve has conned people out of nearly $800,000 between SURCH, The Journey, The Ugly Mug, and the land.
FACT
Every penny of SURCH was disclosed and accounted for. None of that was conned from anyone. The same is tru for The Journey and The Ugly Mug. Our treasure was happy to provide any documents requested regarding the finances. Mom and Dad buying the land back from Sharon and I was entirely their idea. While Kevin seems to believe that I somehow planted that idea in their minds, I did not.
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